Walking in Circles

Today's grocery shopping expedition presented me some unique challenges.  What does one do when one is in a land that is new and yet familiar?

Everyone who knows me knows that I LOVE Aldi.  It's the ultimate in grocery shopping with great quality, not too many choices, and logical, consistent store layouts.  At least the German blood in me truly loves Aldi.  

For the record, the German part of me is also responsible for my love of imported beer and fattening foods... but I digress.

I had no trouble getting all the items on our list quickly, with one exception that Stu added:  "Parmesan Cheese (Jar)".  I knew exactly what he meant - he is my husband of nearly 14 years, after all - but I usually manage to pawn off all the regular grocery shopping on him.  So where in Aldi does one find this item?

After making numerous circles around the busy Bridgeton store, and actually saying to myself out loud at one point, "Dorothy, we're not in Sebring anymore," I was finding myself a bit frustrated.  

Did I ever actually purchase the "jar" of parmesan cheese at Sebring Aldi?  Would it need to be in a refrigerated display or just on a shelf?  Even I was aware it couldn't be in the freezer case, but that didn't stop me from walking past it a few times.

At this point, I was torn between channeling my Inner German (Bob Lucas), praying to St. Anthony (patron saint of lost articles), and trying to find a non-busy store employee on a ridiculously busy shopping day.  

I had almost reached option three above (but not quite) when I found myself passing the young mother carrying on a dialogue with her young son about "helping with the shopping" for the fifth time, and silently sympathizing with her plight.  

(But hey - the dialogue was in English!  Hey, Dorothy, we're not in Sebring anymore!)

At last the Inner German spoke to me and gave me an idea of why the "parmesan cheese (jar)" would not be found anywhere near the other variety of cheeses scattered throughout the store.  "Hey, Em (my father's nickname for me) - what do you use it with?"

Parmesan Cheese (Jar) was then quickly found, right near the pasta where it belonged.

Dear Lord, please help keep my mind flexible in this land of new challenges - and please help me not to lose it in the process.

A Reluctant Lesson in... Technology?

As I often do these days without the structure of a day job, I spent way too long on Facebook this morning, conversing with several friends in Highlands County, FL.

For a variety of reasons, many of them are able to live relative lives of leisure as compared with the hustle and bustle of a big city.  Let's face it - life just moves at a slower pace back there, which I often catch myself missing.

Around 10 a.m., Jack came to me and started whimpering.  I honestly think he might have somehow read my mind, because I was having a conversation with a FL friend that made me think about my and Jack's daily walk.

I let him outside so that I could get dressed for the walk in the normal-for-this-time-of-year (unpredictable and constantly changing) St. Louis weather.  It's hard to dress even simply with a 48-pound dog jumping all over you.

I couldn't even check the forecast online and get dressed in layers deemed appropriate, including shoes and socks, before he started barking frantically "I Want Inside NOW!"

I finally finished getting enough clothing on to go let him in.  It was raining and he was wet!

At this point, much as Jack could have used the walk (especially with his recent weight gain noted at yesterday's vet visit), I decided I needed to walk alone on the treadmill in the basement.

Let me start by saying that Stu is nothing short of a genius and a very loving husband. He has set up for me the most wonderful exercise room, complete with treadmill, fan to cool, and technology to entertain.  The "technology to entertain" this morning proved a bit confounding to my imperfect self.

I'm still not sure if it was the order in which I did things or just technological barriers to “stealing TV shows” - which I was not trying to do - but I never anticipated this level of challenge, which actually took longer than the walking itself of 1.3 miles (the distance around Lake Verona).

Along with our subscription to DirecTV (and two paid DVRs) Stu got some software which allows you to watch the shows you have recorded on a DVR, which is connected to your home computer network, on your computer.

Stu's laptop, which normally sits on a desk/tray on his bed in his bedroom (a.k.a. his "office"), is the combination of newest and most portable computer we own.  It's also the only one of our three computers which can connect to a modern flat screen TV (which we bought in early 2010 for our FL bed and breakfast) via an HDMI cable. 

Since Stu was gone shopping for groceries and hardware necessities, I decided I would grab his laptop and borrow it for the treadmill before he got back, and hopefully leave it in a way that he wouldn't even know I had borrowed it.

I unplugged the electrical cord and carried it and the laptop, with the mouse and mouse pad, downstairs.  After connecting the laptop up to the downstairs outlet, a network signal extender, and the HDMI cable already attached to the TV set hanging on the wall, I went to turn on the TV with the remote.

The TV would not respond, and I assumed that the batteries in the remote had died.  After all, these were probably the original batteries that were in the remote when we bought the TV, even though the actual TV remote was rarely used since we had DirecTV (and remotes) in all the guest rooms.

I reinforced my original assumption by pulling out and discarding the two AA batteries, clearly labeled with a foreign name.  Let's get some good old American batteries – Eveready (headquartered in St. Louis, by the way) - that we know are relatively new (checked the date printed on them).

Still no response, and then I realized the error was human (never assume because you make an... you know the rest).  Murphy's Law says (or should say) that the appliance always works better WHEN YOU PLUG IT IN.  Duh!

OK, with the TV and the laptop both receiving electricity, the Windows Desktop was clearly visible on the large Visio TV screen.

At this point, according to repeated error messages, the DirecTV software seemed to think I was trying to use more than one monitor at a time (the laptop AND the TV set). I closed the laptop lid to turn off one of the two monitors.

I restarted both the computer and the software several times without success. I finally figured, "_____ this, I'm spending more time on the _____ technology than I will be able to spend on the _____ workout."  You can fill in the blanks with your own expletives of choice.

At this point, the TV was displaying Stu's desktop with a window where DirecTV was trying to download software, as shown in the illustration at the top of this blog.  It gave me something to look at, anyway, for the duration of my walk, along with comparing current weather conditions between Avon Park, FL and Bridgeton, MO.

Also in our basement fitness room is an old combination CD player/AM-FM radio/receiver, circa 2003, which Stu has also somehow gotten connected to the TV.  

This device is still amazingly complex if you have neither the original manual nor the brain of a 20-year-old.  Its purpose in this equation is to allow me to listen with headphones to the TV while walking on the noisy treadmill, and it has its own remote to control volume while walking.

My thought process at this point was something like, OK, I can stand to walk without TV, but please let me have music or talk radio, because I don't even have the dog or my neighborhood to entertain me today.  Yes, I am spoiled!

It took me an amazingly long time to figure out how to get the radio part of this device tuned to something besides 730 AM, which is great for Barry Foster on WWTK in Florida, but yields nothing but static in a basement in Bridgeton, MO.

There were so many buttons, all of them doing at least double if not triple duty, that even with my new magic bifocals, my old not-so-magic brain wasn't doing so well.

After way too much struggling for a woman who is trying to make a living in technology, I managed to get pre-set buttons number 5, 7 and 8 (or some such thing) set to Y-98, Brew 100.3, and KWMU St. Louis Public Radio.

And so I walked to some very new music, some old rock and roll, and some talk radio.  All were interesting for their own reasons.  

I had to resist the temptation during the fast tunes to adjust treadmill speed to anything like my former peak walking speed (when I was 30 and weighed 115 lbs.), but I did indulge myself in setting it to somewhere near the music tempo when it was less than about 3.5 mi/hr.  

Jack was patiently waiting for me at the top of the steps when I finished my solo workout.  Between a fear of our 2007 basement in Creve Coeur, MO, and being trained not to go upstairs to the guest rooms at Lake Verona Lodge Bed and Breakfast, I guess he hadn't felt compelled to follow me if it meant stairs.

I went to let him outside again, and saw that it was no longer raining.  This prompted a lengthy string of apologies from me to the dog.  Surely by now he knows Mommy is crazy, but he still loves me.  And that's why dogs are much better than technology.  The End.